When Blessing Feels Impossible

Reflections on 1 Peter 3:8–17

Some passages feel like they sit quietly and gently beside us. Others confront us in ways we’d rather avoid. This week, as I reflected on 1 Peter 3:8–17 and the sermon series we’re doing at the moment, I kept circling back to Peter’s invitation to “repay evil with blessing.”

It’s beautiful in theory.

But in practice? It’s one of the hardest things Jesus asks of us.

Why This Is So Difficult

Most of us long for fairness and justice. We want truth to be recognised, our motives understood, and relationships to remain intact. So when we’re misrepresented, criticised, or treated unjustly, something in us constricts and tenses. Tim Keller often said that our defensiveness usually reveals where we’ve placed our sense of self - that too often and too easily our instinct to preserve ourselves comes from the idol we can make for ourselves of wanting to be in control - while Jesus calls us to entrust ourselves to God.

This is why blessing those who harm us feels so counter-intuitive: it asks us to let go of our grip on self-protection and trust God with what is happening in all areas of our life.

Jesus Shows Us the Way

What encourages me is that Jesus does not ignore injustice. He names it clearly. He speaks truth without resentment. He stands firm without becoming hard and embittered.

He doesn’t retaliate. He entrusts Himself to the Father—again and again. 1 Peter invites us to follow Him and remain steadfast in our faith - not by pretending everything is fine, but by letting God’s sovereignty and truth shape our response rather than reacting to someone else’s behaviour shape it.

Standing Firm in the Face of Injustice

It can take real courage to stay steady when someone questions your integrity or speaks about you unfairly. It can feel frightening, lonely, and deeply personal. Scripture never denies this reality.

The Psalms give us permission to bring our rawest emotions to God—anger, weariness, confusion, longing for justice. Honest prayer about our feelings in this isn’t a failure of faith; it’s the practice of faith. It’s how we remember that God sees clearly, holds justice in His hands, and never overlooks our pain.

But Standing Firm Doesn’t Mean Staying Silent

Blessing others doesn’t rule out speaking. We are still called to “speak the truth in love.” The challenge is that most of us naturally lean toward one or the other: truth without gentleness or gentleness without clarity and where we stand and how we feel.

“Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it.”
— Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

Speaking the truth in love requires that fine balance of courage and vulnerability at the same time—which is why anxiety often makes it feel nearly impossible.

When Anxiety Makes Everything Feel Bigger

Systems theory gives a helpful lens here. Steve Cuss talks about how anxiety shrinks our capacity to be our “true self.” And our emotional reactivity pulls us away from grounded, thoughtful presence that responds rather than reacts.

So what can we do when anxiety is high and we want to respond more like Jesus than our instincts?

A Practical Way Forward

Here’s a simple approach for these moments:

1. Notice your internal reaction.
Name what’s happening: “I feel defensive… stressed… afraid… overwhelmed.” Naming reduces reactivity.

2. Pause long enough to reconnect with God.
Even some short breathing exercsises and a quiet prayer—“Lord, You see this. Help me stay present.”—creates space for wisdom.

3. Ask God what faithful, grounded presence looks like in this
Not withdrawal. Not attack. But clarity and gentleness together.

4. Speak from what you know to be true, not your anxiety.
Truth with love. Firmness with kindness. This is Spirit-produced, not self-produced.

5. Entrust the outcome to God.
We can respond faithfully without controlling how others receive it. God holds the long view.

Remember that You are Held by the God Who Sees

Blessing those who hurt us isn’t passive. Speaking truth in love isn’t aggressive. Standing firm isn’t hardening our hearts. All of it is rooted in trusting that God is the One who sees every hidden thing, understands every motive, and will bring His justice in His time.

If this feels difficult for you, take heart. Most of us grow into this slowly. Jesus does not ask you to face injustice alone. He invites you to walk with Him—the One who knows what it is to be misunderstood, who blessed those who cursed Him, and who now strengthens and by His Spirit can equip us to do the same.