Wisdom, Beauty, and the Life That Leads Us to Jesus

Listening to the talk on Proverbs 31 today, I found myself jotting down two competing reactions. On the one hand, admiration. On the other, a familiar sense of distance. The Proverbs 31 woman can feel so competent, so capable, so relentlessly faithful that she becomes unattainable — less an invitation and more a mirror of everything we're not.

I was thankful that Dan Wu named that so honestly. The characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman have often been a source of intimidation and quiet incompetence for many of us. And yet, she isn’t there to crush us. She is meant to inspire us.

One detail that stood out was that Proverbs 31 is an acrostic poem — an A to Z of praise. Not a chronological list of tasks she completes in a single season of life, but a highlights reel of character formed over a lifetime. This isn’t saying she did all of this at once. It’s showing us who she became, slowly, faithfully, over time.

That matters.

It also helps to see Proverbs 31 against its ancient backdrop. In the ancient Near East, poems about women were often focused on beauty and sexuality. Proverbs does something radically different. It praises her strength — but not the kind of strength that takes or dominates. Her strength shows itself in kindness, generosity, wisdom, and service. She doesn’t use her power for her own good, but for the good of others.

And yet, the talk kept circling back to this: what she is praised for is not finally her strength, but its source.

“She fears the Lord.”

Her life is not self-governed. Her courage, diligence, and love are not drawn from endless reserves of personal resilience. They come from her trust in God. Proverbs 31 is not ultimately about her at all — it is about the God she depends on.

There is a realism here that I appreciate. Charm is deceptive. Beauty fades. Scripture doesn’t deny their existence or enjoyment, but it refuses to let them carry ultimate weight. What endures is a life oriented toward God, expressed in active love for others. Wisdom, as Proverbs presents it, is never abstract. It’s lived.

The question of who she is remained deliberately open in the talk. She sounds like Lady Wisdom earlier in Proverbs. She echoes the “excellent wife” of Proverbs 12. She resembles the ideal companion for a righteous king. She even hints at the Garden and creation — the perfect partnership humanity was created for before things fell apart.

She seems to do everything, crossing the usual divisions of labour, because she is not meant to be reduced to one role or one person. The Proverbs 31 woman is not someone we are meant to identify as a single individual. She is a composite portrait — wisdom embodied — meant to shape every area of life.

She is the friend you want beside you.
The neighbour you trust.
The sister, mother, or mentor whose presence brings life.

She is the fullest picture of what it means to fear the Lord.

One comment from the talk has stayed with me: we need to work out ways to encourage the people around us who quietly reflect this kind of wisdom. Is there someone in your life who reminds you, even faintly, of the Proverbs 31 woman? Someone whose life draws you toward faithfulness and love? Naming that, and speaking encouragement, is itself an act of wisdom.

But the talk didn’t let Proverbs 31 stand on its own.

It drew a clear line forward to Jesus.

Because Jesus is the ultimate expression of God’s wisdom. Where the Proverbs 31 woman shows wisdom lived out in humility, diligence, and generosity, Jesus embodies it perfectly — giving himself for those who could never repay him. Where her beauty attracts and points beyond herself, Jesus is the beauty of God made visible, especially to the despised and the overlooked.

The connection to Revelation 19 was striking: the image of a bride prepared for her King. The Proverbs 31 woman begins to look less like an impossible standard and more like a signpost — pointing us toward the true story of the righteous King and his bride. In Christ, we are not called to manufacture this wisdom. We are invited into it.

Our desire for beauty, the speaker reminded us, is not wasted or wrong. It is what we were made for. But wisdom teaches us where that beauty truly leads. The Proverbs 31 woman is beautiful not because she draws attention to herself, but because she directs our gaze toward God.

As I sat with my notes afterward, one question kept surfacing:

Do I fear God? And how?
Is Jesus my beauty — or am I still chasing charms that cannot last?

Proverbs 31 doesn’t ask us to become her. It invites us to receive wisdom, to reflect on where our loves are being formed, and to return — again and again — to the God who gives life.

Wisdom, personified, is still speaking.
And she continues to lead us to Jesus.