Words That Give Life

One line has been echoing in my head all day:

How we use our words matters.

It’s a sentence I’ve worked hard to instil in our boys from the time they could string words together. Because words matter. And perhaps because of that, I find myself increasingly weary of the way we excuse verbal harm — someone lashing out in anger, then later brushing it off with, “I didn’t really mean it,” as if meaning it later somehow undoes what was spoken.

Scripture, and human experience, tell us otherwise.

Words have launched world-changing social movements and devastating wars. They have carried great love and caused lasting damage. Sometimes a single word can alter the course of a life: Guilty. Innocent. Yes. No. Now. Never. Ugly. Beautiful.

As was said today:
Our tongues are powerful because we image the God who speaks.
So we are called to shape our hearts around God’s word — and to hone our tongues to bring life.

Proverbs 18:21 says it bluntly: “The tongue has the power of life and death.” What flows from our mouths can nourish or destroy, heal or wound. As one author put it, “words create worlds”.

That idea was reinforced with a line from Jackie Hill Perry that stayed with me:
“Who you are is a consequence of words… you can spend a lot of time, prayer, energy and money on therapy to undo the power of a mere sentence.”

Proverbs 12:18 speaks of reckless words that pierce like swords — and wise words that bring healing. It made me wonder:
What were the words spoken over me that still stir discontent or pain?
What were the words that should have been said… but weren’t?

We are often far less aware of our words than we imagine. Even casual comments can leave deep marks. There was an analogy used that helped this land: learning to drive now comes with such strict requirements because you’re being trusted with a powerful machine that can cause such damage and destruction. How much more the tongue, the book of James reminds us — like a small spark, that is capable of setting whole forests ablaze.

The heart of the matter, though, isn’t technique. It’s source.

The power of our tongues comes from the God who speaks. “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding” (Proverbs 2:6). In God, there is no distance between word and action — he does what he says. That’s why the serpent’s first tactic in Genesis was to sow doubt: “Did God really say…?” And why Jesus names Satan as the father of lies.

Proverbs 6:16–19 lists seven things the Lord hates — and four of them relate directly to speech. If we were to place our words alongside God’s, how would they stand? Apart from Christ, the answer is confronting.

There was a hymn line quoted that captures both hope and humility:

When this poor lisping tongue lies silent in the grave,
I’ll hear a nobler, sweeter song,
I’ll sing His power to save.

Wisdom, we were reminded, means choosing words carefully.
Is it wise?
Is it truthful?
Does it add value to the relationship?
If yes — say it.
If not — don’t.

The New Testament echoes this wisdom repeatedly: be quick to listen, slow to speak. Encourage one another. Be kind and compassionate. Let your conversation be full of grace. At the same time, we are called to speak the truth in love. This doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations, but approaching them with humility and care—motivated by love and a genuine desire for the other’s good. Sometimes that love involves gently naming sin or patterns of living that fall short of what God desires.

A striking image followed: the words you breathe in are the words you breathe out. Much like food, what we consume shapes us. How much clean air — gospel words, Scripture, faithful teaching — do we breathe in each day? And how much noise, outrage, and cynicism?

This extends not only to what we say aloud, but to what we say to ourselves. Our internal conversations matter. The more our self-talk is shaped by truth and grace, the more it reflects the God who speaks blessing into being.

We were also cautioned not to assume we’re immune from drifting into a sly or insincere tongue. There’s a difference between encouragement and flattery. Flattery builds another up so they’ll think well of us. Encouragement seeks the genuine good of them. Proverbs warns us about mouths that sound good but are hollow.

So these questions stayed with me as the session ended:

What needs to be added, modified, or honed in my speech?
What am I breathing in — and what, therefore, am I breathing out?
And having shaped my heart and words around God’s truth — who is God calling me to speak life to?

Words can offer relationship.

The gospel offers life.